Where are all the good men?

I am going to start off by saying that this started out as 2 blogs but at the last minute I decided to combine my thoughts into one. This was to avoid any overlap.

I am an equal opportunity dater. I have dated various men with different ethnic backgrounds. At first I could say that it didn't have anything to do with race but as I got older that changed. My boys have heard me say that I am over black men. They have drama and they come with too many issues. Plus they are grimy, liars and are always out to do you wrong. Before I go any further I am in no means a bitter black woman. To be honest I have only been wronged by 1 black guy but I was young and stupid. Most of the drama that I had I brought on myself.

Like I was saying I haven't been wronged (or at least not that I know of) but I have had to listen to the stories. The stories from my girls who as I sit back and listen, I wonder what the hell is wrong with you? If he is cheating why are you taking him back? Or his baby's mama is always calling him and it isn't about their son why are you dealing? Or he hit you and you really believe he won't do it again? These are just a few of the heartbreaking stories that I have heard and sadly they all involved black men. I am well aware that it could be any man but normally its black men who are involved. I know its not all black men. Or even all men for that matter. There are some good men out there but its a very small percentage. For this reason most men get a bad rap. How often have you had to pay for the mistakes that the last man made?

Anyways for a while I just wanted to date white men. I wanted as far away from the black guys that I knew and had dated. That was all that I was attracted to and they were attracted to me. Or at least it would appear that they were. They would talk the talk and do the things that I wanted them to do. At the end of the day I would wonder though. Is this just a fascination to see how things are with a black woman? Of the white guys that I have dealt with only one of them had ever talked to a black woman before. So I felt as though I had a lot of weight on my shoulders. It was almost like I had to represent for all of us instead of just being me. I did not have any problems with them that I mentioned above. Instead I have dealt with the alcoholic, the chronic partier, the guy who is too needy and then the white guy who thinks he should have been black. Just a few of the issues. Not to mention the added stress of dating outside your race and everything that goes with it.

So this leads me to ask where is this small percentage of good men? Whether it be black, white or purple. The few that know how to treat a woman right? That may have flaws but not to the extremes above? The men who are motivated and doing things with their lives. The men who have morals, opinions and understand the word respect. Please note that I have not said anything about looks, money, status or anything like that. All of that is irrelevant. Is it because they are a hot commodity they manage to continue to play the field because they know they can? Or that they turn into the grimy men above because so many women are desperate for a chance? The guy who is kicking the same lines to various women and they are all falling for it. So I ask again, where are all the good men?